I'm Ready

If this pregnancy is any indication of the little girl we will meet in just a few weeks, we are in trouble! ;)
We've made more trips to the doctor and more trips to the hospital than we ever did with Penelope and I've certainly worried more this time around, too.

Last night, Penelope and I were sitting in the car waiting for DJ to grab something from the store. That's become the new normal for us. I am easily exhausted at this stage of pregnancy, especially when Penelope wants me to hold her and walk around the store. While I was sitting there, something strange happened. Celie frantically kicked and moved for about 5 seconds and then nothing. No movement. I started pushing on my belly, silently begging her to give me some indication that she was okay. Nothing. My mind began to race as I waited for DJ to get back in the car. When he finally got there I said, "I think we need to go to the hospital right now". I called my OB and she immediately called back and said that I needed to get to the nearest hospital. I was already crying when I called her, but the urgency in her voice made me just fall apart right there in the car. I called my mom and could only cry...DJ had to take the phone from me and explain to her what was going on.

I was absolutely terrified. All of the "what if's" flooded my mind and every minute that I didn't feel Celie move felt like a lifetime. DJ had me eat some candy we have in the car for his low blood sugar and I kept pushing around, hoping I would feel something...anything.

That poor lady at the front desk trying to register me in was probably thinking I was a crazy person. I could only cry. She asked, "So, you're feeling lots of movement?" and I could only shake my head no and hold my head in my hands while I began to sob publicly. Poor DJ was absolutely livid at this point because it was taking so long and pretty much yelled, "Can we just get her in a room and I'll take care of this???" Everything moves so slowly when you feel like you just need to be seen at the hospital. 

I can't tell you the relief I felt hearing that little girl's heartbeat. I started to feel a little movement once we got there so I could finally breathe again. After monitoring her for a while, they determined she was not in any distress and she had more than likely moved quickly into a very different position in my belly. Since my placenta is in the front, her new position made it difficult to feel any kicks or movement. The doctor there said Celie was the most perfect 32 week baby she'd seen in a long time. :) I was discharged from the hospital in about 2 hours. Once we left, I had DJ go get me a milkshake because it's the closest thing to a drink when you're preggo. ;) 

Even though I've yet to meet my Celie, I can't imagine my life without her. I don't care how much I've puked, worried, hurt, etc...I need this little girl. I know you fellow moms understand this connection with your baby.

I've felt guilty for wanting to say that I'm done being pregnant. When you say things like that, the comments flood in..."cherish this time with her" "you'll miss it". Trust me, I understand that. I understand that these are our last few weeks with just Penelope. But, I am officially done being pregnant. I am tired of racing to the hospital, crying because it's too soon to even think about delivering a baby. I'm tired of contracting all night. I'm tired of morning sickness in my 3rd trimester. Really, I'm just tired of worrying. At this point, I know it's not something I can 100% control because of these hormones and the fact that I am a momma bear. But, I am TIRED. I will be so thankful to walk into the hospital to deliver her!

I'm ready to hold my girl and know she healthy and safe. I can't wait to meet my troublemaker!