If this pregnancy is any indication of the little girl we will meet in just a few weeks, we are in trouble! ;)
We've made more trips to the doctor and more trips to the hospital than we ever did with Penelope and I've certainly worried more this time around, too.
Last night, Penelope and I were sitting in the car waiting for DJ to grab something from the store. That's become the new normal for us. I am easily exhausted at this stage of pregnancy, especially when Penelope wants me to hold her and walk around the store. While I was sitting there, something strange happened. Celie frantically kicked and moved for about 5 seconds and then nothing. No movement. I started pushing on my belly, silently begging her to give me some indication that she was okay. Nothing. My mind began to race as I waited for DJ to get back in the car. When he finally got there I said, "I think we need to go to the hospital right now". I called my OB and she immediately called back and said that I needed to get to the nearest hospital. I was already crying when I called her, but the urgency in her voice made me just fall apart right there in the car. I called my mom and could only cry...DJ had to take the phone from me and explain to her what was going on.
I was absolutely terrified. All of the "what if's" flooded my mind and every minute that I didn't feel Celie move felt like a lifetime. DJ had me eat some candy we have in the car for his low blood sugar and I kept pushing around, hoping I would feel something...anything.
That poor lady at the front desk trying to register me in was probably thinking I was a crazy person. I could only cry. She asked, "So, you're feeling lots of movement?" and I could only shake my head no and hold my head in my hands while I began to sob publicly. Poor DJ was absolutely livid at this point because it was taking so long and pretty much yelled, "Can we just get her in a room and I'll take care of this???" Everything moves so slowly when you feel like you just need to be seen at the hospital.
I can't tell you the relief I felt hearing that little girl's heartbeat. I started to feel a little movement once we got there so I could finally breathe again. After monitoring her for a while, they determined she was not in any distress and she had more than likely moved quickly into a very different position in my belly. Since my placenta is in the front, her new position made it difficult to feel any kicks or movement. The doctor there said Celie was the most perfect 32 week baby she'd seen in a long time. :) I was discharged from the hospital in about 2 hours. Once we left, I had DJ go get me a milkshake because it's the closest thing to a drink when you're preggo. ;)
Even though I've yet to meet my Celie, I can't imagine my life without her. I don't care how much I've puked, worried, hurt, etc...I need this little girl. I know you fellow moms understand this connection with your baby.
I've felt guilty for wanting to say that I'm done being pregnant. When you say things like that, the comments flood in..."cherish this time with her" "you'll miss it". Trust me, I understand that. I understand that these are our last few weeks with just Penelope. But, I am officially done being pregnant. I am tired of racing to the hospital, crying because it's too soon to even think about delivering a baby. I'm tired of contracting all night. I'm tired of morning sickness in my 3rd trimester. Really, I'm just tired of worrying. At this point, I know it's not something I can 100% control because of these hormones and the fact that I am a momma bear. But, I am TIRED. I will be so thankful to walk into the hospital to deliver her!
I'm ready to hold my girl and know she healthy and safe. I can't wait to meet my troublemaker!
Monday, June 20, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
It's Been Crazy
The past few weeks have been nothing short of insane. In fact, it's been so crazy that I haven't wanted to share publicly. I tend to get more anxious if a lot of people are suddenly asking me if everything is okay and I have to continue to update everyone on what's going on.
BUT, I want to have this all written down! So here goes nothing:
A few weeks ago, I started feeling run down and tired. You know, that typical 3rd trimester feeling. Only, this was more intense. I started having lots and lots of contractions so I made a call to my OB. She decided to run a few tests because I was contracting so much and feeling so gross. One of those tests is called a Fetal fibronectin test (fFn). Here's what that is in case you don't know:
When the fFN test is positive, it is an inconclusive result. A positive result can indicate that a woman will go into preterm labor soon, but she may not go into labor for weeks. When the fFN test is negative, the result is a better predictor. A negative result means that there is little possibility of preterm labor within the next 7 to 10 days, and the test can be repeated weekly for women who remain at high risk. A negative fetal fibronectin test gives a more than 95% likelihood of remaining undelivered for the next 2 weeks. A systematic review of the medical literature found that fetal fibronectin is a good predictor of spontaneous preterm birth before cervical dilation. The test may be run on patients between 22 and 35 weeks gestation.
Well, that came back negative. But I did have a kidney infection and quickly went on antibiotics.
Memorial Day weekend, I started having a ton of pain on my right side, right under my rib cage. I called my OB and she advised that I needed to come in and see her when the office opened back up on Tuesday. I went in and she decided to do another fFn test because I was in so much pain and she wanted to be sure I could travel to my brother-in-law's wedding that Saturday. My kidney infection was resisting the antibiotic so they switched me to a different one that looked more like a horse tranquilizer than any human medication. Not only that, but my blood pressure was elevated. Dr. Barrett said it wasn't high enough to worry yet, but we did need to be cautious of it getting any higher. She said it was probably elevated because I was in so much pain. I tried not to panic.
That afternoon, I got a call back from my OB and the fFn came back positive this time. I immediately started to cry. How could this all be happening at 29 weeks!? It was clearly not the news I was expecting to hear. She said I needed to come in the next two days to get steroid shots to develop Celie's lungs in case I did deliver her early. I said, "This may be a stupid question, but does that mean traveling is out of the question?" She said if everything stayed the same (meaning, if I didn't progress in the next two days), I might be okay to go. Once we hung up, I called DJ and broke the news. We talked about what that meant for work...what that meant for us...and then how we could handle of all this. My husband is so amazing and reassuring. I didn't REALLY cry until I called my mom and then I just totally lost it. This was too soon to be worrying about having a baby!
The next day, I went in to get checked and receive that nasty steroid shot. It feels like a punch in your booty that doesn't go away for a good 15-20 min! I didn't even care who saw me rubbing my butt on the way out of the hospital (that's where my doctor's office is located)...that bad boy HURT! Thankfully, I hadn't progressed at all and my blood pressure had come back down. I was so thankful! The pain in my back had moved down a bit so my doctor said that I was more than likely passing a kidney stone. NO FUN. She assured me that it was perfectly safe for Celie so I left feeling like everything was going to be okay, despite what I was about to go through with a stupid kidney stone.
Later that night I was writhing in pain. I just felt like I needed to go to the hospital. I called the after-hours service and my OB wasn't on call. BOO. The doc wanted me to go to Baptist since the fFn came back positive and I was in so much pain. We made arrangements for my mom to come pick up Penelope from the hospital so DJ and I could be together.
I filled in the sweet triage nurse on the happenings of the past week while she hooked me up to the monitors. I told her that I had just been to my OB that afternoon and my cervix was closed. She went to check me and I saw her face change. NOT what you want to happen as I'm sure you know. She said, "You were closed at 1:00? Are you sure?" Umm...of course I'm sure! She told me that she wanted to get a second opinion because I was at least 1cm dilated at that point. My heart sank.
The second nurse came in and confirmed that I was 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. She wanted to call the on-call OB to see what we needed to do from there. I called DJ (he was helping get Penelope transferred over to my mom's car) and told him to hurry up and get in the room...I didn't want to be by myself anymore!!!
DJ and I talked about other things to keep my mind off of what was happening. My back was killing me and there was absolutely nothing on TV...this was miserable!!
The nurse came back about an hour later with a big pill. She explained that my contractions were 15 minutes apart and now they were 7 minutes apart. What!? Contractions??? I didn't even FEEL contractions! She gave me the pill (Procardia) and said it would hopefully stop my labor. DJ and I were exhausted at this point because it was almost midnight and we had already been there so long. Thankfully, it DID stop labor and I was eventually able to go home. I think we finally got in our bed at 4:30 that morning.
I went in to get my last steroid shot the next day and my OB was pleased with my lack of progression. She said she was cautious, yet optimistic that I would still have a full-term baby. No bed rest ordered. I was THANKFUL. DJ let me take the rest of the weekend to rest up and get my strength back.
We've had one other scare since that night with the pre-term labor, but everything was fine and I was quickly sent home from the hospital.
I can't tell you how loved and supported we felt throughout all this. We didn't make it public, but the people who were praying for us helped us get through it. I felt peace when I should have been panicked. So, to all of you friends and family who were praying, THANK YOU. There are no words for what you mean to me.
I can't help but feel blessed. We have a beautiful family and these past few weeks will be nothing more than a crazy story to share with Celie once she is here. Even though this pregnancy has been difficult for me, I'm thankful for the privilege to be able to carry her. I hope I never take that for granted.
BUT, I want to have this all written down! So here goes nothing:
A few weeks ago, I started feeling run down and tired. You know, that typical 3rd trimester feeling. Only, this was more intense. I started having lots and lots of contractions so I made a call to my OB. She decided to run a few tests because I was contracting so much and feeling so gross. One of those tests is called a Fetal fibronectin test (fFn). Here's what that is in case you don't know:
When the fFN test is positive, it is an inconclusive result. A positive result can indicate that a woman will go into preterm labor soon, but she may not go into labor for weeks. When the fFN test is negative, the result is a better predictor. A negative result means that there is little possibility of preterm labor within the next 7 to 10 days, and the test can be repeated weekly for women who remain at high risk. A negative fetal fibronectin test gives a more than 95% likelihood of remaining undelivered for the next 2 weeks. A systematic review of the medical literature found that fetal fibronectin is a good predictor of spontaneous preterm birth before cervical dilation. The test may be run on patients between 22 and 35 weeks gestation.
Well, that came back negative. But I did have a kidney infection and quickly went on antibiotics.
Memorial Day weekend, I started having a ton of pain on my right side, right under my rib cage. I called my OB and she advised that I needed to come in and see her when the office opened back up on Tuesday. I went in and she decided to do another fFn test because I was in so much pain and she wanted to be sure I could travel to my brother-in-law's wedding that Saturday. My kidney infection was resisting the antibiotic so they switched me to a different one that looked more like a horse tranquilizer than any human medication. Not only that, but my blood pressure was elevated. Dr. Barrett said it wasn't high enough to worry yet, but we did need to be cautious of it getting any higher. She said it was probably elevated because I was in so much pain. I tried not to panic.
That afternoon, I got a call back from my OB and the fFn came back positive this time. I immediately started to cry. How could this all be happening at 29 weeks!? It was clearly not the news I was expecting to hear. She said I needed to come in the next two days to get steroid shots to develop Celie's lungs in case I did deliver her early. I said, "This may be a stupid question, but does that mean traveling is out of the question?" She said if everything stayed the same (meaning, if I didn't progress in the next two days), I might be okay to go. Once we hung up, I called DJ and broke the news. We talked about what that meant for work...what that meant for us...and then how we could handle of all this. My husband is so amazing and reassuring. I didn't REALLY cry until I called my mom and then I just totally lost it. This was too soon to be worrying about having a baby!
The next day, I went in to get checked and receive that nasty steroid shot. It feels like a punch in your booty that doesn't go away for a good 15-20 min! I didn't even care who saw me rubbing my butt on the way out of the hospital (that's where my doctor's office is located)...that bad boy HURT! Thankfully, I hadn't progressed at all and my blood pressure had come back down. I was so thankful! The pain in my back had moved down a bit so my doctor said that I was more than likely passing a kidney stone. NO FUN. She assured me that it was perfectly safe for Celie so I left feeling like everything was going to be okay, despite what I was about to go through with a stupid kidney stone.
Later that night I was writhing in pain. I just felt like I needed to go to the hospital. I called the after-hours service and my OB wasn't on call. BOO. The doc wanted me to go to Baptist since the fFn came back positive and I was in so much pain. We made arrangements for my mom to come pick up Penelope from the hospital so DJ and I could be together.
I filled in the sweet triage nurse on the happenings of the past week while she hooked me up to the monitors. I told her that I had just been to my OB that afternoon and my cervix was closed. She went to check me and I saw her face change. NOT what you want to happen as I'm sure you know. She said, "You were closed at 1:00? Are you sure?" Umm...of course I'm sure! She told me that she wanted to get a second opinion because I was at least 1cm dilated at that point. My heart sank.
The second nurse came in and confirmed that I was 1cm dilated and 50% effaced. She wanted to call the on-call OB to see what we needed to do from there. I called DJ (he was helping get Penelope transferred over to my mom's car) and told him to hurry up and get in the room...I didn't want to be by myself anymore!!!
DJ and I talked about other things to keep my mind off of what was happening. My back was killing me and there was absolutely nothing on TV...this was miserable!!
The nurse came back about an hour later with a big pill. She explained that my contractions were 15 minutes apart and now they were 7 minutes apart. What!? Contractions??? I didn't even FEEL contractions! She gave me the pill (Procardia) and said it would hopefully stop my labor. DJ and I were exhausted at this point because it was almost midnight and we had already been there so long. Thankfully, it DID stop labor and I was eventually able to go home. I think we finally got in our bed at 4:30 that morning.
I went in to get my last steroid shot the next day and my OB was pleased with my lack of progression. She said she was cautious, yet optimistic that I would still have a full-term baby. No bed rest ordered. I was THANKFUL. DJ let me take the rest of the weekend to rest up and get my strength back.
We've had one other scare since that night with the pre-term labor, but everything was fine and I was quickly sent home from the hospital.
I can't tell you how loved and supported we felt throughout all this. We didn't make it public, but the people who were praying for us helped us get through it. I felt peace when I should have been panicked. So, to all of you friends and family who were praying, THANK YOU. There are no words for what you mean to me.
I can't help but feel blessed. We have a beautiful family and these past few weeks will be nothing more than a crazy story to share with Celie once she is here. Even though this pregnancy has been difficult for me, I'm thankful for the privilege to be able to carry her. I hope I never take that for granted.
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