Surely I should be feeling better by now, right!!??!?!
NO. I am still sick.
Sorry to sound like a drama queen over here. I am just discouraged lately because I have been sick every single day since the beginning of December. At some point it just begins to drag you down. I have tried to stay really positive this time around, but I am ready to feel well again! Okay, enough whining. :)
DJ and I celebrated Valentine's Day this Saturday by having my mom watch Penelope so we could stay at the Hermitage for the night. It was absolutely perfect. Penelope was an angel the whole time so I didn't worry too much. I probably called way too many times, but everyone was patient with me. :)
It was the first time we had been without Penelope for the night! We needed this pretty bad. It was the most relaxing thing to just watch the Food Network and veg with my husband. I can't tell you how good that was for us. Thanks to my mom for being the best babysitter! She sent pictures of everything they did...Penelope didn't want to leave when we went to pick her up the next day!
Other than that, we are just moving along with this pregnancy. I am so anxious to find out what we're having. We have our girl name picked out (we're not telling anyone this time!), but we are lost on a boy name. I'll find one that I kind of like and DJ hates it. Oh well. I guess if we are having a girl it won't matter! :)
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
Sunday, February 13, 2011
This Week With Baby L
I'm in my second trimester...
PRAISE THE LORD!!!
I haven't been able to tell much of a difference yet, but I'm holding on to hope. I will feel like a normal human being again!
I've been wanting to blog about this for a while, but I don't want to hurt anyone. I have gone back and forth about whether or not I should even say anything in fear that I would either say the wrong thing or not truly express how I feel about the people I care so much about.
The moment I found out I was pregnant, joy overwhelmed me. My whole body felt like it was buzzing! The next moment was an overwhelming reality and fear. What about my friends?
So many of those dear to me have experienced unimaginable loss of their sweet babies. Or the friends who want a baby so desperately and struggle to conceive. The innocence of pregnancy is gone. The "what if's" flood my brain and fear takes over.
What if they don't want to talk to me anymore?
How do I continue to have joy and still grieve with those who are still grieving?
What if the same thing happens to me?
Again, just blogging about this scares the crap out of me. I hope that I am not saying something insensitive or hurtful.
It is a constant battle to fight the fear of "what if" instead of being thankful for the gift that God has put inside of me.
You see, I worry about everything. I worry about every pain in my belly as it is stretching to hold my sweet baby. I worry that I'm taking too much nausea medication. I worry that I'm not eating perfectly. I worry that I'll never get my body back after 2 babies. I worry. You name it, I have probably thought about it and worried myself sick.
I haven't resolved this issue inside of me yet, but I am trying. Trying to be thankful for my family and trust the plan God has for my family. I'm not sure I could fix much with the amount of hormones raging through my body anyway. :)
To my dear friends who are waiting to see their babies again, I think of you and your angels every single day. You are never far from my heart. You have all taught me to be a better mother and to hug my Penelope tight and cherish every moment with her. Thank you for your bravery and faith as you go through this journey. Love you.
PRAISE THE LORD!!!
I haven't been able to tell much of a difference yet, but I'm holding on to hope. I will feel like a normal human being again!
I've been wanting to blog about this for a while, but I don't want to hurt anyone. I have gone back and forth about whether or not I should even say anything in fear that I would either say the wrong thing or not truly express how I feel about the people I care so much about.
The moment I found out I was pregnant, joy overwhelmed me. My whole body felt like it was buzzing! The next moment was an overwhelming reality and fear. What about my friends?
So many of those dear to me have experienced unimaginable loss of their sweet babies. Or the friends who want a baby so desperately and struggle to conceive. The innocence of pregnancy is gone. The "what if's" flood my brain and fear takes over.
What if they don't want to talk to me anymore?
How do I continue to have joy and still grieve with those who are still grieving?
What if the same thing happens to me?
Again, just blogging about this scares the crap out of me. I hope that I am not saying something insensitive or hurtful.
It is a constant battle to fight the fear of "what if" instead of being thankful for the gift that God has put inside of me.
You see, I worry about everything. I worry about every pain in my belly as it is stretching to hold my sweet baby. I worry that I'm taking too much nausea medication. I worry that I'm not eating perfectly. I worry that I'll never get my body back after 2 babies. I worry. You name it, I have probably thought about it and worried myself sick.
I haven't resolved this issue inside of me yet, but I am trying. Trying to be thankful for my family and trust the plan God has for my family. I'm not sure I could fix much with the amount of hormones raging through my body anyway. :)
To my dear friends who are waiting to see their babies again, I think of you and your angels every single day. You are never far from my heart. You have all taught me to be a better mother and to hug my Penelope tight and cherish every moment with her. Thank you for your bravery and faith as you go through this journey. Love you.
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
This Week With Baby L
Holy cow, I'm in my second trimester (well, 2 days away). I've been so sick, sleepy and distracted that it has passed me by quickly. And the second trimester usually goes by even faster. NO!!! :) I'm trying to really enjoy this time with the nugget in my belly. I don't want to wish it away like I did with Penelope. I don't want to worry like I did with her, either.
The morning sickness is changing, but not for the better. Zofran usually doesn't help anymore because I get these spells of nausea that come on so quickly that I usually can't wait for the medicine to kick in. I've also been waking up in the middle of the night and getting sick. YUCK...worst feeling ever!
BUT, the good news is I'm feeling those little kicks! I missed that popcorn feeling in my belly with early kicks. It makes all of the puking and miserable feelings worth it. They aren't consistent at all yet...just a pop here and there after I eat or if I'm really still at night when we go to bed.
And, because I like to have everything planned 100 times over, we've started making our birth plan. We've set up where Penelope will go when I go into labor and even have a back up in case that doesn't work for some reason. I specifically remember things that I didn't like about my last labor & delivery experience so we are working to make it the most peaceful delivery possible. For example, if I need pitocin (which I'm already praying I won't need...that stuff is SATAN) to induce my labor, I want the epidural BEFORE! I fully dilated so quickly after I had it with Penelope I'm surprised I was even able to get the epidural. I've already made a mental list of things I want packed in my delivery bag this time because we didn't have anything last time! I didn't believe that my water had actually broken with P so we didn't have squat. It will be nice to (hopefully) be more prepared this time.
We've also been trying to talk to Penelope about the baby in my belly. She seems to just want to stick her finger in my belly button...gag! She is going to be an amazing big sister though. She is busy every day feeding and kissing her babies and stuff animals. So sweet.
I'll have pictures again soon. I've been lazy...
How far along? 13 weeks, day 5
Sleep? Blah...waking up to puke. Enough said.
Best moment this week? Feeling Baby L kick!
Irrational pregnant thought of the week: Nothing too crazy...just been thinking about chopping all my hair off. I refuse to do it this time though because I did it when I was pregnant with Penelope and regretted it the whole time!
Food cravings: Cheese grits...tonight I made DJ go get queso for dinner.
Belly button in or out? Innie
What I'm looking forward to: I can't WAIT to see what we're having. I'll be thrilled either way! My next appointment is Feb 28...we'll schedule the ultrasound then.
The morning sickness is changing, but not for the better. Zofran usually doesn't help anymore because I get these spells of nausea that come on so quickly that I usually can't wait for the medicine to kick in. I've also been waking up in the middle of the night and getting sick. YUCK...worst feeling ever!
BUT, the good news is I'm feeling those little kicks! I missed that popcorn feeling in my belly with early kicks. It makes all of the puking and miserable feelings worth it. They aren't consistent at all yet...just a pop here and there after I eat or if I'm really still at night when we go to bed.
And, because I like to have everything planned 100 times over, we've started making our birth plan. We've set up where Penelope will go when I go into labor and even have a back up in case that doesn't work for some reason. I specifically remember things that I didn't like about my last labor & delivery experience so we are working to make it the most peaceful delivery possible. For example, if I need pitocin (which I'm already praying I won't need...that stuff is SATAN) to induce my labor, I want the epidural BEFORE! I fully dilated so quickly after I had it with Penelope I'm surprised I was even able to get the epidural. I've already made a mental list of things I want packed in my delivery bag this time because we didn't have anything last time! I didn't believe that my water had actually broken with P so we didn't have squat. It will be nice to (hopefully) be more prepared this time.
We've also been trying to talk to Penelope about the baby in my belly. She seems to just want to stick her finger in my belly button...gag! She is going to be an amazing big sister though. She is busy every day feeding and kissing her babies and stuff animals. So sweet.
I'll have pictures again soon. I've been lazy...
How far along? 13 weeks, day 5
Sleep? Blah...waking up to puke. Enough said.
Best moment this week? Feeling Baby L kick!
Irrational pregnant thought of the week: Nothing too crazy...just been thinking about chopping all my hair off. I refuse to do it this time though because I did it when I was pregnant with Penelope and regretted it the whole time!
Food cravings: Cheese grits...tonight I made DJ go get queso for dinner.
Belly button in or out? Innie
What I'm looking forward to: I can't WAIT to see what we're having. I'll be thrilled either way! My next appointment is Feb 28...we'll schedule the ultrasound then.
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